Fix You
by mr. eames
Summary: Sirius feels broken and looks to Remus to help fix him. Sirius/Remus


**Fix You**

**A/N**: I couldn't go to bed, and this song was on the telly. And I had never heard it before but I started crying. Like, literally, no reason just crying. Songs are doing that to me a lot recently, and then I need to write.

**Disclaimer**: No ownership of the beautiful song or lyrics as well as the wonderful characters.

* * *

_When you try your best but you don't succeed  
When you get what you want but not what you need  
When you feel so tired but you can't sleep  
Stuck in reverse  
And the tears come streaming down your face  
When you lose something you can't replace  
When you love someone but it goes to waste  
Could it be worse?  
Lights will guide you home  
And ignite your bones  
And I will try to fix you  
And high up above or down below  
When you're too in love to let it go  
But if you never try you'll never know  
Just what you're worth  
Lights will guide you home  
And ignite your bones  
And I will try to fix you  
Tears stream down your face  
When you lose something you cannot replace  
Tears stream down your face  
And I  
Tears stream down your face  
I promise you I will learn from my mistakes  
Tears stream down your face  
And I  
Lights will guide you home  
And ignite your bones  
And I will try to fix you_

* * *

It was a disaster waiting to happen. Sirius Black in a library. But he hadn't expected _this_. He had only been looking for someone to talk to after all. Since the only people he really _talked _to were Remus Lupin and James Potter and he was in a rather heated argument with the latter, he was seeking out the lycanthrope for some sort of platonic comfort, just someone to listen.

_This _wasn't at all meant to happen. Sirius rarely even entered the library and now he was sitting in the secluded corner restricted to solely X-Z matters ranging from the fascinating topics of Yetis all the way to diverse things such as, well, Yetis. Somehow he didn't anticipate anyone coming to do some research anytime soon. That vile vulture of a librarian Madam Pince was in the Restricted Section. _Restricted my Black ass, _Sirius thought to himself amidst his noisy sniffles.

Because he was crying after all. Sitting on the floor of the library in the Yeti section just letting all of his emotions show via tears. He would intermittently laugh at some good memory, but he was always crying and had been for about ten minutes now. It was late in the day, nearly six, dinner was over but no one was in the library. It was a Quidditch game day after all, and everyone had gotten their essays and Potions work out of the way already and most people were probably out in the stands sporting House colors and smiles.

Sirius, conversely, was in a miserable state. Quidditch reminded him of James, which reminded him of the fight they had gotten into earlier, a bit before dinner. It had started off casually enough, Sirius innocently suggesting that James pursue Lily Evans with a bit more vigor. Alright, so, maybe those weren't his exact words. Maybe it had been something more about getting her in-between his sheets because everyone knew it was going to happen eventually. Even so, he hadn't been expecting James Potter, of all people really, to get so angry at the remark.

James then reminded him that he had skipped dinner in favor of avoiding the person he called his best mate. That reminded his stomach to growl and him to groan, feeling desperately hungry. Hungry for what exactly? Food, as that was a natural staple for a human being. But some other things as well. Sirius was never one to suppress his carnal urges, and he was terribly sex starved.

But that wasn't the real problem here; it was just the one that was most prevalent in his sixteen-year old mind. He tried to not think about it, but it was definitely there, if only in the back of his head, hidden somewhere in that black mess he called his hair. It was getting long again, he should cut it.

Who had said that? Who had told him to cut his hair? Oh, right, his mother. She had been really original that day. That had been a long time ago, the last time he had seen his mother, the day he had run away. His tresses were even more unruly now. He shuddered to think of the words she might say if she saw him now. Not likely that this event would occur, seeing as he was even debating over whether one could still be Sirius _Black _when they weren't technically Noble and definitely not Most Ancient.

All these thoughts were running through his head over and over again. Like a generally annoying song being played on loop, only it was more like an entire album. A lot of different tracks, but they all linked together, flowing seamlessly into one another but repeating nonetheless and getting on his nerves more than an afternoon with Peter Pettigrew. Oh, goodness. When was the last time he had spent an afternoon with _any _of his good friends? He had tried to do that today with James, but look how that had ended up. As for Remus, well, Remus always had his face in a book these days and did a nice job of not looking Sirius in the eyes. It bothered him horribly. He wanted to rip the book away and scream at his friend, ask him why they hadn't talked in weeks.

Speak of the devil. Of all the people to walk in on him crying, Remus Lupin was the last person he wanted to do so. Even Snivellus would have been better. No one would believe that greasy toad anyway. But, as usual the world ignored what he wanted and granted him golden eyes looking down at him in that most worthless of all emotions. Pity.

Bless the little werewolf though, for he came with offerings of food. Who knew what it was, it was all the same once it was inside of his stomach anyway. Remus sat next to him and offered him the plate piled high with food, which Sirius gladly accepted with a small smile for thanks, and he was still crying. "You weren't at dinner. Last place I thought I'd find you and the last place I looked."

"Well," Sirius said in-between bites of potatoes and pudding and pie, or something of the like, "of course I'm in the last place you looked. Wouldn't be looking if you found me anyway." He used the back of his left hand to wipe away several tears that were forming in his right eye. "I looked here since I thought this was where you would be. I forgot that I'm never right about anything. Silly me."

Remus gave him a look of laughter, but no such noise was blessed upon him, just a slight shaking of his head. "What are you doing in here Sirius?" He reached out and touched Sirius' face, wiping away a few stray tears, his hand lingering longer than it needed to and then falling down to rest on his knee. "Don't tell me the obvious, either."

He tried to focus his eyes on his food, but found them laying their sights on Remus' hand, which quickly removed itself after a silent moment of staring. "I'm feeling sorry for myself when I don't deserve it and slowly accepting it as a delightful guilty pleasure," he said after thinking about it for a moment. "Is that too obvious or do you want some obscure fact about me that no one knows? I like to dance to the Hobgoblins in my boxers, for example."

"Interesting, I never would have guessed such a thing about such a reserved person. You never cease to surprise me, Sirius," Remus said, smiling at Sirius in one of those 'alright, now your turn!' ways that were, in his own opinion, the worst way to be smiled at. He didn't smile back. "So alright, I have to wonder then. I bring you food, I'm completely wonderful to you and I don't mention the little lover's spat you and Prongs had earlier. What the hell am I to do to make Padfoot happy?"

What was anyone to do to make Padfoot happy? That was something to think about over some tea. Too bad he hated tea. Perhaps a plate of leftovers could do. He stirred the contents of his plate around until they were just a brown mess, which looked delicious, he might add. "Just stay here." Remus gave him a look. "No, I mean it; I'm actually not being an ass for once. I know, hold your breath. Just stay here and talk to me. Please?"

"You, sir, are impossible," Remus replied, leaning back against a book about Sirius' favorite subject. Yetis. The two sat in almost silence, prevented only by Sirius' fork scraping the plate he ate from and Remus' sighs as he fiddled with every button he could find on his outfit. How Sirius would like fiddle with those buttons…

No he wouldn't. But yes he totally would. He should really be over this by now. How many months ago had he realized he was attracted to his mate now? Enough to be able to sit next to him _without _thinking about ripping off all of his clothes right there and then. Especially in a library. Sirius wouldn't want to disturb the peace, after all. He was a respectful kind of guy that way.

"Have you ever heard of that book about that boy and girl? The one where they fall in love and both end up dying in the end?" Sirius asked, breaking the silence with his inquisitive mind. At this point he was no longer crying, but he felt the tears in the corners of his eyes, waiting to slip out at a moments notice. Not quite finished with their job of making him look like a total pussy. Almost, but not _quite _done.

"I think you mean the play, _Romeo and Juliet_, by Shakespeare?" Remus inquired a small smile on his face as he spoke of the work. Sirius nodded, his mouth full of his last bite of food, setting the completely cleared plate of food on the ground next to him. My, the restricted things Madam Pince must be wrapped up in right now. "Yes I've heard of it and read it. Never had the chance to see the actual play though. Why?"

Oh, I was just wondering. No reason really, just curious. Well, I was thinking about reading it and wanted to see what you thought of it. No. "Do you think it's weird that stuff like that is always between a girl and a boy? It's never between two guys or girls. I just think that's kind of weird." Sirius seemed to have gotten what he was _supposed _to say mixed up with what he was _thinking _about saying but would never _actually _have the guts to voice out loud.

Surprisingly it warranted no huge reaction from Remus. "It's understandable for, you know, back then. I mean, if you wrote something about the King back then and it wasn't in a positive light you were beheaded. Or hung. Or some other form of death was inflicted upon you, just for _writing _something against someone with power."

"Hold on." Sirius held up his hands in mock shock, a pseudo-astonished look decorating his face as he spoke. "Are you intending, and I believe you are, to tell me that this doesn't happen anymore? That I could write an entire paper on why, Merlin bless her, Bagnold is the worst Minister for Magic we've ever had, and they wouldn't force me to Azkaban for the loveliest kiss of my life?"

"Well I'd hope not!" Remus looked simply aghast at the idea, and even shivered slightly when Sirius mentioned the Dementor's Kiss. "I'm rather happy to say I don't see either one of us facing _that _any time soon. Now may I continue?" Sirius smiled and nodded, a sort of, 'by all means' and Remus continued. "Point being, if anyone had written what you're suggesting in that time they would probably be put to death. As for now, well, you might not be killed, but in reality, it's not accepted as much as you'd like to think it is."

"Well, damn and I so had my hopes set on that being what was in the Restricted Section," Sirius said with a believable pout. Remus laughed despite himself and Sirius even managed a smile that didn't feel completely fake. "Speaking of which, I have to figure Madam Pince will be yelling at us any second." He leaned in closed to Remus and whispered now. "What say you that we go for a walk around the school? It'll be brilliant; we've somehow escaped those so-called mandatory matches. No one will be around."

Blushing only served to make the lycanthrope cuter as he replied in a normal tone that was deceived by his reddened face. "Sure, alright. Not sure I even want to know where we're going to walk, but I trust you, though I have more than enough reasons not to." A quick stab at his ego, which he deftly escaped, as always because he was just that skilled at avoiding injury.

They stood up together and left the library together, but that didn't mean they were walking together. Sirius was walking at a relaxed rate, taking his time, while Remus seemed in some meaningless hurry, ever so nervous. The plate was left forgotten. For the Yetis, Sirius assured himself. "You do know we're not going anywhere, right?" Sirius said after a few minutes of walking down the halls in silence.

"What?" Remus, a few feet ahead of him turned around, facing the source of his confusion. The two stared at each other for a long second. In that second they exchanged more emotions than Sirius could count. Confusion on Remus' part and loss for words on Sirius'. A little bit of embarrassment all around and add some helpings of unknown for the lovely werewolf, things the Animagus couldn't quite read. He himself was simply feeling terrible again. He wasn't sure why, couldn't say why, just was.

"I don't know where we're going. I just wanted to go somewhere with you, I suppose," Sirius admitted. It sounded ten times as gay when he said it out loud. A million times, even, now that he thought about it. He shivered slightly as they walked in front of open windows that overlooked the grounds. Sirius stopped and Remus stopped with him, and they both looked out the window. Outside it was somewhere between night and day, that milky time that never got a name. "We're going here."

This time he didn't even let words escape Remus' mouth, but he knew they were about to because he could taste them in his friend's mouth as he kissed him, full on. Grabbed the front of Remus' navy sweater and pushed him up against the wall in-between two open windows and brought their lips together, savoring the taste. Remus tasted like words and knowledge and some sort of food. The best kind of food. One that hadn't even been made yet.

Remus simply tasted like Remus. The best part was that he didn't even resist Sirius' advances. He had expected maybe a little bit of fight, some sort of trying to push him away that he would, of course, ignore. Maybe an attempt at a kick if the werewolf was feeling overwhelmingly bold, but instead Remus just melted with him and wrapped his arms around his neck, returning kisses and playing with Sirius' hair.

Never mind what his mother had said. It was a perfect length. They broke apart and it was all too overpowering for either of them to speak, and Remus just laid his head against Sirius' chest and they stood there, in plain view on everyone, who was really no one, until Sirius finally spoke. "You have no idea how long I've wanted to do that."

"You have no idea how long I've waited for you to do that." The sound of Remus' voice was comforting and suddenly Sirius found that there were no hint of tears in his eyes and no thoughts of what was wrong on his mind. He wasn't looking to change that any time soon, and kissed the top of Remus' head with the happy realization that he had been fixed. And to think – all he had needed was a werewolf.

**A/N**: I had no idea what time Quidditch games were played. I liked the way six in the evening sounded. Enough time to catch up on your studies, eat a lovely House Elf-prepared meal and then put on your House spirit and get out into the chilly air to support your boys! And, er, girls. Right. I enjoyed writing this up until six in the morning, so hopefully someone will enjoy reading it. Well, review even if you hate it.


End file.
